Saturday, July 20, 2013


Okay so some how I have been living in England for a year. Which means I am a scant 7 days from turning up in the Edinburgh festival. I first heard about this festival as a fat theatre student. It was described to me as "a theatre festival in Scotland but comedians do theatre". A drank man told me about it hence the vague description that did in fact interest me because well I do not know why it interested me but it did. Last year I turned up with an hour of jokes and did the free festival it was hard...I mean hard. I cracked the third day and caused the audience to walk out (it was 14 people in a room of like 60 but it still hurt). From that I cried and learned how to hold the audience. I was vastly unprepared to be there I did know how to right a show that could conceptually swim in that environment but I did learn how to jam some theme and get some positive reviews and slowly but surely over 27 days I vividly remember shaping something I could be proud of. 

It was an amazing introduction to the festival and I am excited to go back. I do not know what it will be like but I think you all will like it. 

Full disclosure: blog written while feeling sappy and jittery from coffee in Oxford 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

May disappearance

Hey I disappeared for a while because I have nothing to write about but I found some stuff so I am back lets keep going 

May# 21

I will hate the man I met that day for the rest of my life. So I was filming some soon to be released sketches one I which was in a pub. Yes we were shooting illegally because we did not get permission so on paper we are wrong. That being said we are in an abandoned pub upstairs lounge in London surrounded by literally nobody and the dialogue was just me talking and this as hole doing sudoku or hiding from his wife or writing anti-semetic poetry. We film twice me chatting taking two minutes this dick gets up and says what are you doing and sees a camera. 


so he goes complains we shoot and get stopped by a bartender who scolds us in tone usually saved for women discussing tractor pulls with brooms. 

We leave and I think the opening sentence of the post every time I speak see or interact with uncompromising humans. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Well Well Look who decided to fuck up and not post for a few days. It was me. Sorry I just had nothing to write about. So um come to Brighton 30,31 of May June 1 and 2 TEMPLE ROOMS in BRIGHTON

Sunday, May 19, 2013

May #19

So I got a book to help me quit smoking once and for all. It's not what you think. It's not bull shit basically it teaches you that when something in your life is getting you down or stressing out you should just remember that you have a book that will give you the ability to beat something to death. 

rofl lol 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

May # 18

Steve jobs I hope you are dead. Is what I think whenever there is a fuck up with the ole iPhone which is the delivery system for these here updates. And oh boy should Steve jobs be dead because not only did last nights BRILLIANT POST get delayed but today's was delayed because the phone kept deleting the lie I was going to tell you. I got distracted and forgot. There I said it and you caught me. Well not really I opened to it. I like being honest it makes me feel good about my life to know that any moment as asteroid could destroy my skull and mostly everyone in my life would know the truth.....I am better than them


May #17

Alright London you sold me. This update was held WITH PURPOSE HENCE it technically coming kinda in the day after. I originally wanted to discuss the stress of doubling up on gigs. The anger of running around through the various trains and the prayer that nothing is delayed forcing the host to extend through your set he/she being capable of covering the time but the heat has cooled because the strong jokes have long been said because the host planned on doing 45 minutes not 74.5 minute of comedy because ole johnny pale face got on a train that has become a house for some reason. 

That being said we are not getting into the knitty gritty of me staring at a departures screen we are going discuss the fact that two cool people struck up a conversation with this kid on a subway platform.  She is a singer he a tv sound fella. We chatted and then parted ways. It was bizarre but in a good way like cheese on peanut butter or tossing a salad sans sauce (google it). It was just people saying hello on this spinning world we call in the world (way to go hastings on that sentence you ass). I have no idea why this moment struck me but it was nice because well I do not know why. I was able to give them some flyers for my twitter and promote my Brighton fringe appearance (may 30-june2 at the temple) 

All that way for a plug.