May #7

Let me say this about peeing in public places. I do that all the TIME!!! I should rephrase. I tinkle in restaurants. In there bathrooms. Not in the corner leading to fights and punches. So here is the thing. I live in fear of being stopped by a barista or bartender and pissing in my pants while people are having latee's. My worst fear was realized on the way to grabbing a bus to oxford. I had to shit. That kind that while being solid was going to spiral out quickly and with determination. Now I do not pay for bathrooms so I walked over to the bus station and walked in to the bathroom to take a #2. I sat down on the toilet (which is the custom). I was arcing a fine deposit to the water bank (that metaphor got away from moi) when a women burst into the bathroom. She is screaming "why are you in here, who let you in, this is against the rules" I looked around to make sure I was not shitting in someone's living room. I say what's the problem while checking the lock on the stall. She says who gave you the code. I now look around and see if I am plooping in a nuclear silo. I say calm down and then she says "THIS IS AGAINST THE RULES". Then she leaves. I shit. I leave. I have not stopped thinking about a mall employee who takes her job so seriously she screamed at a man taking a sushi poopie.