By the time you read this my soul will been crushed, the air that usually fills my lungs with a sweet smelling cloud will produce only ash and the dew on the grass that kept my toes feeling so delightful will dry and leave little cuts by my nails which will cause tears to well up in my eyes. For you see friends a life long goal was once again not reached. This past week North By North East brought me the opportunity to fulfill a dream I have clutched onto since my masturbation filled teenage years. That dream, was to gaze onto a stage while surrounded by the most smiling, gleeful and angry crowd on Gods Green Earth all there to observe the God Father of Punk Iggy Pop march across the stage to a microphone and then shout into for ninety minutes stopping only to sip some water or roll in some broken glass. Tonight he will march across the stage at Younge and Dundas Square at 930 pm and put foot to ass musically speak and sadly the spot in which I would stand tucked in the near right and a little to the back with a nice view of the giant H & M models is being used by a 16 year old texting her friend about how this bag of leather singer is no good. But as I write this I realize that Lady Comedy has cocked blocked me from standing in a mosh pit and hoping there is biker so big he can throw me towards the giant set of hipster tits depicted in the H&M billboard. As I right this I go to Kitchener Ontario and I will make them laugh but not before I throw peanut butter on the wall, cut myself with glass and then walk the front frame of the stage in an effort to perform jokes in an Iggy Pop style.
What am I doing writing this… oh yes that is right… Dear Kitchener I am coming to the town early and burning down any structure jokes can be told in… I am sorry Iggy is town….
j.
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