2nd stupid post

Recently my dirty dirty stomach movements have been taking an impressive and awe-inspiring turn for the beautiful so I decided in between trips to the toilet to smirk and conduct a kidney symphony I decided to once again tell a stupid bordering on time wasting story from my stupid past. Once in my youth my dumb metal head friends and I went for a little walk-a-loo around our neighborhood. After about an hour we were struck with hunger and a need to dine in a faux diner. So where did our numb-skull brains lead us, Denny’s! We screamed, clicked our heels and ran towards the closest mall we could find. We sat down and what did I order a rare steak with scrambled eggs which is the dumbest sentence to escape from my silly lips ever (save for the phrase “I should have a blog on my comedy website that has nothing about comedy poured over the content”). I ate the steak, it was delicious and then our little group put foot to pavement back towards our corner of the earth. After a moment of walking I felt a twinge in my cute little belly, then my balloon-knot puckered and my mind screamed get to a toilet or at the very least a shallow pond so that this rare, glue factory cow meat can be expelled from your body or it will decorate your underwear in a “bloody hotel room from Dexter” only brown. I turned to my friend Paul and demanded to use the bathroom in his house. He seeing my stomach rubbing and smelled the putrid stank that was leaking out of my eyes refused until a tossed him two dollars and ran into his basement where 30 minutes of what later looked like a melted cake shot out of my body. At the end I went home and slept for 10 hours only to be awakened by my friend calling me to tell me that somehow my shit had stained the wall behind his toilet. He made his mom clean it… So in conclusion I have shot shit out of my ass that could traverse time and space. Beat that