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I am hung-over today, so let us all travel down the rabbit hole and journey through to the land of the “Worst Hang-Over I ever have”. It was Halloween 2005 back in the good ole days when my head rested on a soft pillow covered in cigarette ash and whiskey bottles (yes I am making a clever reference to living in Montreal and to also drinking a lot. LOL LMAO). That year I was dressed like a McGill University frat boy holding a broom (at that time McGill had just weathered a scandal involving senior members of some sports team taking a broom handle to the junior members balloon knots) and carrying a giant bottle of ten dollar 1 litre red wine with a horse on the label. I sat at the party in a circle chatting and laughing all while sipping from my giant horse piss red wine with the regularity of a metronome that has just been diagnosed with AIDS. The party was a great and lovely time with some party goers chatting about South American whore houses while other guests requested to do blow in front of everyone (the request was denied). The music blasted, the room spun, I felt as if I was on a cloud or in a Darren Aronofsky movie and then there was nothing, my mind was an empty candy jar jangling out vomit from the top of my skull onto my sweat stained angry skin. I awoke in my bed with what could only be described as lemon juice and monkey cum jammed into my eyes. My head was on cold-fire and I could not stand up or use my arms so I was forced to simply roll slowly while always picking a point on the wall as to prevent vomiting all over my great Ikea carpet. It took me a long time to make it to the bathroom where I then fired more vomit than I thought my body should be able to hold. There I lay for 3 hours still in my costume and with gorilla shit sitting on my brain. I had no idea how I had got there, was I dragged from the party after shitting on a plant or had I experimented with penis docking with a man whose honker is so intense that it had knocked me out and then tucked me into bed? Nope I had drank a litre of wine in 30 minutes, I then vomited and then walked home. As I was dragging my body to the couch because I did not know what legs where at the time I made a pledge to never drink that much again. Obviously I was not in my right mind. So now I get to enjoy a slightly toned down version of that experience. Hmmm What’s the point of this blog. Nothing at all! BOOM!